I had planned on writ­ing a little piece on throat ana­tomy, only to find out dur­ing my research that there is already an excel­lent resource on the web. You can fin the link at the very bot­tom of this page, it is title deep­throat­ing tutorial. Instead of doing that I will touch on some of the keywords used to find this web-site.

• “mak­ing someone your slave”
• “slave train­ing”
• “train­ing my slave”

These seem to be good indic­at­ors to me that there is a increas­ing need for a bet­ter explan­a­tion on the dom­in­ance and sub­mis­sion part in the BDSM world.

Reset­ting Expectations

Before we can ven­ture fur­ther down this path of learn­ing I need to reset your expect­a­tion. You can­not make someone your slave, nor can you magic­ally make them want you to be their owner or dom­in­ant part­ner. You should always be aware that you best course of action is a safe, sane and most import­antly con­sen­sual one.

Com­pli­ance which has been enforced by using force is short lived, you are most likely inter­ested in build­ing a strong, longer last­ing rela­tion­ship based on dom­in­ance and sub­mis­sion. To achieve this goal you will have to think of your dom­in­ance as a tool.

Lure Them
The dic­tion­ary defines seduc­tion as:
Main Entry: se·duc·tion
Pro­nun­ci­ation:si-‘d&k-sh&n
Func­tion: noun
Ety­mo­logy: Middle French, from Late Latin seduction-, seduc­tio, from Latin, act of lead­ing aside, from seducere

• 1 : the act of sedu­cing; espe­cially : the entice­ment of a per­son to sexual intercourse
• 2 : some­thing that seduces : TEMPTATION
• 3 : some­thing that attracts or charms

When you think of your dom­in­ance as a tool, you should be think­ing of it as a part­ner which can help you to achieve what is described above in last point of the word’s defin­i­tion. You should be able to attract and charm the per­son you wish to engage with in a Master/slave rela­tion­ship. Just likes bees are drawn to flowers and a drug addict needs the daily fix, you will need to develop an under­stand­ing of the per­son you wish to lure into your dom­in­ance and you will need to under­stand what makes them come back. Think of it as a very simple eco­nomic exper­i­ment, which would sound some­thing like this:

• 1. Find a nat­ural need or desire and sat­isfy it
• 2. Gen­er­ate an arti­fi­cial desire which is sim­ilar to the one you found
• 3. Let that arti­fi­cial desire prosper and grow, build­ing on it.

Example Please

The­ory is some­times dry and not very help­ful, so let us try to put my key prin­ciples to the test by illus­trat­ing them with a made up example
Let us assume you have found out that your part­ner likes to receive some form of smack­ing to her ass while indul­ging in reg­u­lar inter­course with you. You have just man­aged to find a nat­ural desire, so why would you not go away and learn more about spank­ing. Armed with that know­ledge you can then indulge with your part­ner, spank her prop­erly and learn how she reacts to that stim­u­lus. You might find out that she also reacts well to the spank­ing of her cunt or her inner thighs. That she reacts, in gen­eral, well to being slapped lightly.
Armed with that you are now in a pos­i­tion to cre­ate an arti­fi­cial desire, by speak­ing to her, taunt­ing her, allow­ing her to build a fantasy around your words, how you will spank her tits and spank her ass until it is red.
Once that is achieved you can build on the found­a­tion you have laid out before you, you are free to expand on the same topic, provide vari­ations thereof or even ven­ture into enhance­ments. Spank­ing her, while tying her up might be such an enhancement,

Farm­ing The Willing

Dom­in­ance and sub­mis­sion are not games, they are con­scious choices many people on this planet make daily. It is impossible to cre­ate a long last­ing rela­tion­ship with you slave unless she is will­ing to give her­self to you. You will be required to gain her trust and cre­ate an envir­on­ment in which she can feel utterly safe. This does not neces­sar­ily mean that there must be any feel­ing of love involved, but most rela­tion­ships which go to the depths and extremes are usu­ally car­ried and gov­erned by an over­all blanket of love.
My slave had shown her will­ing­ness to be dom­in­ated and made that decision long before we actu­ally met. Often it is a mat­ter of farm­ing the will­ing and then put­ting that will­ing­ness to good use. That is exactly where your train­ing regime can help.

How To Train Then

Train­ing works best when you are expand­ing on nat­ural desires. Take the things your slave loves already and expand on them. Whether that is cock suck­ing, ass fuck­ing, spank­ing, being guided on a leash, being exposed in pub­lic, it does not mat­ter. Pick a topic which your slave is com­fort­able with or at least will­ing to explorer fur­ther in. Expand that topic, exhaust it and push bit by bit to elab­or­ate on the dif­fer­ent nuances of play.

You will soon see that cer­tain top­ics nat­ur­ally lead to another one. Bare handed spank­ing might eas­ily lead into some form of mild bond­age, as your part­ner might be more than will­ing to let her hold her hands as she is on her belly, get­ting spanked. There is no “tree dia­gram” I could help you with unfor­tu­nately, as there are almost infin­ite ways on how to pro­gress from one topic to the next.

Seek Spe­cific Advise

As dis­cussed above you best course of action is to ensure that you are build­ing on top­ics the per­son you are enga­ging with is already slightly com­fort­able with. Some­times their need, the quick grat­i­fic­a­tion of lust can help you engrave that this desire is a good, a pleas­ing one. As there is a mul­ti­tude of top­ics out there my best advise is that you seek expert know­ledge in spe­cific area as you touch on it. I will admit that I am not very good at bond­age yet, while I have extens­ive know­ledge on how to train and use an asscunt. My know­ledge on bond­age is lim­ited, because I have not yet devoted much time to the act of bind­ing my slave, mostly due to the dis­tance between us. Before I would indulge in bond­age, I would make sure to edu­cate myself.

Edu­cate your­self by using work­shops, also make sure that you under­stand what you are doing to your slave’s mind and her body. It is import­ant that you develop a basic under­stand­ing of human ana­tomy and the spe­cif­ics of female ana­tomy. This is essen­tial know­ledge as many of the activ­it­ies in BDSM can become very physical.

Con­clu­sion
This instal­ment barely scratches the sur­face of the com­plex­it­ies tied into any Master/slave rela­tion­ship, but it should enforce the fact that you can­not make someone your slave. They choose to be your slave and they will most likely choose to be enslaved by you, because you under­stand and fur­ther their desires. Choos­ing to be your slave will also heav­ily depend on you being trus­ted, in some rare cases with their life (asphyxi­ation play), you being accep­ted as someone that will not judge them for desires most people in our soci­ety reject.
Try to achieve trust first, build on that trust, cre­ate a sense of abso­lute secur­ity, ensure you are being per­ceived as lov­ing and not judge­mental and then build on that.