I had planned on writing a little piece on throat anatomy, only to find out during my research that there is already an excellent resource on the web. You can fin the link at the very bottom of this page, it is title deepthroating tutorial. Instead of doing that I will touch on some of the keywords used to find this web-site.
- “making someone your slave”
- “slave training”
- “training my slave”
These seem to be good indicators to me that there is a increasing need for a better explanation on the dominance and submission part in the BDSM world.
Resetting Expectations
Before we can venture further down this path of learning I need to reset your expectation. You cannot make someone your slave, nor can you magically make them want you to be their owner or dominant partner. You should always be aware that you best course of action is a safe, sane and most importantly consensual one.
Compliance which has been enforced by using force is short lived, you are most likely interested in building a strong, longer lasting relationship based on dominance and submission. To achieve this goal you will have to think of your dominance as a tool.
Lure Them
The dictionary defines seduction as:
Main Entry: se·duc·tion
Pronunciation:si-’d&k-sh&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French, from Late Latin seduction-, seductio, from Latin, act of leading aside, from seducere
- 1 : the act of seducing; especially : the enticement of a person to sexual intercourse
- 2 : something that seduces : TEMPTATION
- 3 : something that attracts or charms
When you think of your dominance as a tool, you should be thinking of it as a partner which can help you to achieve what is described above in last point of the word’s definition. You should be able to attract and charm the person you wish to engage with in a Master/slave relationship. Just likes bees are drawn to flowers and a drug addict needs the daily fix, you will need to develop an understanding of the person you wish to lure into your dominance and you will need to understand what makes them come back. Think of it as a very simple economic experiment, which would sound something like this:
- 1. Find a natural need or desire and satisfy it
- 2. Generate an artificial desire which is similar to the one you found
- 3. Let that artificial desire prosper and grow, building on it.
Example Please
Theory is sometimes dry and not very helpful, so let us try to put my key principles to the test by illustrating them with a made up example
Let us assume you have found out that your partner likes to receive some form of smacking to her ass while indulging in regular intercourse with you. You have just managed to find a natural desire, so why would you not go away and learn more about spanking. Armed with that knowledge you can then indulge with your partner, spank her properly and learn how she reacts to that stimulus. You might find out that she also reacts well to the spanking of her cunt or her inner thighs. That she reacts, in general, well to being slapped lightly.
Armed with that you are now in a position to create an artificial desire, by speaking to her, taunting her, allowing her to build a fantasy around your words, how you will spank her tits and spank her ass until it is red.
Once that is achieved you can build on the foundation you have laid out before you, you are free to expand on the same topic, provide variations thereof or even venture into enhancements. Spanking her, while tying her up might be such an enhancement,
Farming The Willing
Dominance and submission are not games, they are conscious choices many people on this planet make daily. It is impossible to create a long lasting relationship with you slave unless she is willing to give herself to you. You will be required to gain her trust and create an environment in which she can feel utterly safe. This does not necessarily mean that there must be any feeling of love involved, but most relationships which go to the depths and extremes are usually carried and governed by an overall blanket of love.
My slave had shown her willingness to be dominated and made that decision long before we actually met. Often it is a matter of farming the willing and then putting that willingness to good use. That is exactly where your training regime can help.
How To Train Then
Training works best when you are expanding on natural desires. Take the things your slave loves already and expand on them. Whether that is cock sucking, ass fucking, spanking, being guided on a leash, being exposed in public, it does not matter. Pick a topic which your slave is comfortable with or at least willing to explorer further in. Expand that topic, exhaust it and push bit by bit to elaborate on the different nuances of play.
You will soon see that certain topics naturally lead to another one. Bare handed spanking might easily lead into some form of mild bondage, as your partner might be more than willing to let her hold her hands as she is on her belly, getting spanked. There is no “tree diagram” I could help you with unfortunately, as there are almost infinite ways on how to progress from one topic to the next.
Seek Specific Advise
As discussed above you best course of action is to ensure that you are building on topics the person you are engaging with is already slightly comfortable with. Sometimes their need, the quick gratification of lust can help you engrave that this desire is a good, a pleasing one. As there is a multitude of topics out there my best advise is that you seek expert knowledge in specific area as you touch on it. I will admit that I am not very good at bondage yet, while I have extensive knowledge on how to train and use an asscunt. My knowledge on bondage is limited, because I have not yet devoted much time to the act of binding my slave, mostly due to the distance between us. Before I would indulge in bondage, I would make sure to educate myself.
Educate yourself by using workshops, also make sure that you understand what you are doing to your slave’s mind and her body. It is important that you develop a basic understanding of human anatomy and the specifics of female anatomy. This is essential knowledge as many of the activities in BDSM can become very physical.
Conclusion
This instalment barely scratches the surface of the complexities tied into any Master/slave relationship, but it should enforce the fact that you cannot make someone your slave. They choose to be your slave and they will most likely choose to be enslaved by you, because you understand and further their desires. Choosing to be your slave will also heavily depend on you being trusted, in some rare cases with their life (asphyxiation play), you being accepted as someone that will not judge them for desires most people in our society reject.
Try to achieve trust first, build on that trust, create a sense of absolute security, ensure you are being perceived as loving and not judgemental and then build on that.