How To Be A Good Master
Yesterday I managed to steel some time out of my day to read this website’s statistics once more. Google Analytics does a smashing job of displaying vital information about how this website is being used. One of the phrases used to find this website was
. It struck me as interesting enough to write a little blurb about it. The reason why this phrase interests me so much is because I have not quite answered that question for myself, but I have found certain aspects in BDSM which seem to work well in controlling my slave.
General Thoughts
When I wrote my little article on making someone your slave I already touched on some of the basic traits you need to have therefore this text will be rather short. While I believe that patience is one key element of being a good Master another one is that you can accept to be adored. It sounds odd that one needs to learn how to deal with the adoration of someone they are tied into due to a relationship. Your slave’s adoration is more, it expands past anything a wife or a girlfriend could offer you.
Slave Adoration
I am often in a position where my slave explains to me, that she believes me to be smart, cunning and the best possible choice she could have made in her life, that I cannot possibly fail her and that all the doubts I have about my abilities are unfounded, that indeed I have become her, very personal, god.
While that is flattering and your first reaction might be to puff your chest and strut around proudly like a peacock you should stop and think. As a Master you need to continually improve your skills and the way you interact with your slave. You need to understand not only what you are doing but how you are doing it and in what way it will influence your slave.
Being Lazy
Being regarded as someone that as almost infallible you naturally put less focus on improving yourself, but that is the worst thing you can possibly do. It is important to mention that her adoration in you will only grow through once you show how dedicated you are to take her words into account and yet still improve yourself, taking a step further down the path of being a good Master for her. You should not allow yourself to be or get lazy, I would argue that one aspect of a good Master is the ability to find something to improve. Whether that is your understanding of bondage or anything else does not matter, you need to show just as much dedication as your slave shows towards you.
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Master,
i have only ever truly looked at O/our relationship through my slave eyes and so i find it enlightning to read Your words. i have often thought the accountability and responsibility a Master must accept may be challenging from time to time. i wish for You to know that i understand Your desires to continue to grow and learn and i hope W/we will continue to do so forever.
Your forever adoring slave and Your biggest fan,
~Your grace
If you have the time I’d like to use you as a resource for a story/novella I’m writing. It involves someone who has been drawn into the lifestyle and I think you may be able to help me with insights as to how to better develop this character. Please email me for more details if you are interested
I stumbled across your blog and I must say I really enjoyed this post. I will definitly visit again.
You seem to be the complete embodyment of the perfect Master. Please can You give me some tips as a slave how to support my new Master who seems to be struggling in His responsibilities. I worship Him and everything He does but for some reason He cannot accept my praise and adoration. I desperately need Him to see He is my personal God my reason for existing. How can I help Him stand strong as my Master?
Thank you for the compliment but I am hardly all that. I will think a little bit about your question and then write you an email with a more thorough explanation. In short though: I believe people are who they are, it would be very hard to turn your Master into something he is not. Skills can be learned, complete modification of ones natural behaviour is very hard, if not next to impossible for human beings.
To The Master
i must thank You for Your last post. my Master read it along with my words. When i came back from work He punished me ruthlessly for doubting Him. He has also said that if i really see Him as my God then i must worship Him. i don’t know where His sudden strength and confidence has come from but i am very grateful. He is proving to be the best Master i could ever hope for. Thank You.
slavegirl
Great site. I have quite accidentally stumbled onto a slave, I was not looking, I t was like finding cash in a pair of jeans I have not worn in a while. I have been going through your site so I can be successful and evolve. I am actually meeting her for the first time today and feel today will be easy since there will be all the excitement of the newness. I would greatly appreciate any advice, links, etc… so I can continually development and to have a reference when I hit a developing brick wall. I appreciate your time.
I’ve read a cross-section of your blog and that of your slave, and see much in your dynamic that I work for in my own relationship with my submissive. As you responded above, people are who they are, but I hope perhaps that you could offer some “specific advice.”
We are actually both switches, but I look at it this way: Master (Ladon) is above all, while when she is topping my lesser part she is still serving me. Even so, at times the need to ‘be little’ causes me to feel weaker than I feel she needs.
The most prominent aspect of her personality is “little girl”. She needs rules and structure and an overwhelming supply of reminders at times. We find ourselves getting worn out and eventually we default to simply living our sad mundane lives without much power exchange, and it feels awful.
So often, we run up against the same issues. She promises to fix said issues, and makes progress, but as soon as I turn my back she slides back into her old habits. Keeping her phone with her and charged, hygiene, meds and supplements, even simply eating. I end up feeling as though the burden for her responsibilities rests on my shoulders, as I must find the energy to discipline her for backsliding, or let her continue. Usually, it simply ends up as Daddy nagging her incessantly with very little result.
From both her upbringing and adult life, she’s learned some very lazy habits, despite her proclaimed ‘desire to please’. I find it hard to accept that she really is “eager to please” when she so persistently refuses to do such a simple thing as keep her cellphone with her, or go to the bank at some time during the week to deposit my check as she promised.
I’m finding it hard to even really ask a question here, as there seems to be something inherently wrong with how I’m handling her. I don’t want to make daily spankings part of our routine, but I can’t see a way to avoid it. Perhaps, to use an analogy from another of your posts, I need to remember that she is made of steel and not glass, I don’t have to keep trying to buff out the problems, I can get out the proper tools and help her to shape herself into something we’ll both find much more satisfying. Perhaps what I need to change is actually in myself, first and foremost.
Anyway, if you have any suggestions I would be more than delighted to get some advice. In the meantime I’ll read more of your excellent posts and look for inspiration.
I am writing because although i am not a switch i related to the part where “little girl” is not paying attention to what you want her to do. It happens to me as a slave sometimes and when it does Master has a way of making me see, and it is to the point where I cannot miss the fact that He is disappointed in me. As a slave I tend to feels so bad about myself to begin with, then when Master points out what I did wrong it hurts me deeply. His method is that He might pull back a little, not give me as much attention (that hurts). I have been punished with spankings that frankly I will never forget, and also a nice cold shower (i hate cold showers), and they have helped me learn. But, when it gets to be something more serious He makes me really “see”, and then I begin to reevaluate and learn. By him pulling back on me with less attention it gives me that time to think, I think because I get scared I have done something that might be so damaging I could lose Him. I adore my Master and sometimes even as much as I do I lose focus, He always seems to jolt me back to where I belong. I’m not sure if this will help because both of You are switches, it seems to me that might be a different dynamic to deal with, but hopefully you will get something out of this.
Good Luck
D
Thank you. I just wanted to clarify one thing. Neither my slave nor myself ever switch. We are completely dedicated to who we are as Master and slave,.