My words are written down in the hopes of others finding them in some way amusing or helpful. I realise that this web-site can only become better by inviting others to comment, ask questions and give me hints on what is interesting to my small, but highly qualified, community of readers. To stay in touch and to leave comments on my post I am now inviting all of you to register on my little web-site.The main perk or registering is that you can leave comments and customise some of the aspects of the site, if you are not using any of the smart feed-readers out there, you may also ask to be notified when I update my site. My ultimate goal is to grow this web-site and my slave’s web-site into a useful resource for those already part of the lifestyle and those wanting to enter it. This might expand past what is possible now, based on your interactions with me.
This Is A Life-style
life-style [lahyf-stahyl]nounthe habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group.
As the BDSM-community we are a group of individuals and I strongly believe that there are those of us who do not understand the extent of the word life-style. While elements of BDSM can be used as a kink, as something to spice up your sex-life and to make it more interesting again those elements only constitute a tiny part of what BDSM life-stylers believe their association with their way of living to be.
Handcuffs, a light spanking on the ass, a roughly handled fuck and a stern no>/strong> now and then do not constitute a relationship based on dominance and submission. There are many other aspects to it and one of the key ones is the willingness of your partner to surrender their free will to you. To make that choice and to stick with the decision. This important fact seems to be ignored very often and the perception being developed right now in society misses out on these less obvious elements.
The Culprits
As much as I love the materials being produced by the porn-industry I do not think their recent discovery of fetish and BDSM type movies helps the community of life-stylers getting more accepted. Much like the rise of pornography did not automatically lead to a better acceptance of making sex a choice and not something governed by rules and traditions. Naturally the porn-industry will exploit those habits, attitudes and tastes which make them most money. I would suggest these to be the more sexual elements, along with the many toys and additional tools often brought in through the world of fetish.
Naturally this is done with no explanation as to why such a choice has been made and people serious about their life-style end up with an incomplete picture being transmitted. It is up to the viewer to now interpret the parts not being shown properly.
Interpretation
Once more! Sex is a very important part of any functional Master/slave relationship, BDSM is not about sex alone! Society already knows little about BDSM and what it means to indulge in this life-style. We are responsible for any misunderstandings which result from information being partially offered. We need to be adamant about offering a complete picture of what BDSM means. What the different aspects and areas are and how they interact with each other. Much like we have defined what a marriage is, how we are living together as wife and husband and what is acceptable, we need to start doing this for a consensual Master and slave relationship.
Commonalities
I will happily argue that we can see commonalities in many Master/slave relationships. We will all have a very special way of dealing with our slave, understanding what she needs and of course we will have our own way of determining what makes our slave pleasing to us, but we are probably very close to having the same moral standards and maybe even a similar economic level. I would also argue that we, as a society of life-styler will exhibit certain commonalities in what we learned and what we are able to comprehend. To me that is a natural process, we can help others identifying whether they are close to these same interests by mentioning them more. By agreeing that we can develop interest and clearly show that all of us are quite sane. That much thought and behavioural training has gone into this life-style and that we police what are doing as a community.
Sharing Your Thoughts
Taking into account what I mentioned above, we need to share more and better. We need to share all topics and for that very reason I have opened registration on this web-site. I am interested in your thoughts and I am most interested in sharing your thoughts with the world.