Hello my dear read­ers. To those of you who actu­ally come back to read my web-site I must apo­lo­gise. I have been unable to post for a while, because I have been busily vis­it­ing my slave. Yes, I am in Canada and I am hav­ing a lovely time put­ting all that the­ory I always preach into actual prac­tice. Today my little slut has to work, so this is my chance to catch up and gather my thoughts.While we were vis­it­ing some of her friends which hap­pen to be asso­ci­ated with the life­style as well, an inter­est­ing situ­ation occurred. There is no need to expound on the spe­cif­ics, but allow me to share a gen­eral point of view, some­thing I have always stuck to.

Expect­a­tions

Expect­a­tions allows us to shape the future in a way that we can meet a cer­tain goal. Slaves I have com­mu­nic­ated with always assumed to have very clear dir­ec­tions on what their expect­a­tions were. This might stem from the fact that these expect­a­tions help your slave, just as much as they help mine, to know what is going to be pleas­ing and what not. Abstracts are always hard to under­stand, there is a vast amount of error you can intro­duce. The phrase “Be on time” intro­duces a mul­ti­tude of assump­tions. If those are assump­tions which hap­pen to be very well under­stood, then you are in a pos­i­tion where it is safe to com­mu­nic­ate in such a man­ner. I would expect this type of com­mu­nic­a­tion only to work after many repetitions.The phrase “Be at the south entrance at 16:30 hours” might con­tain unne­ces­sary detail because you assume that your slave knows where to be and when to be there when you say “on time” but it gives your slave an extra cush­ion of safety. She knows, quite clearly, what the cri­teria will be to that might upset you, some­thing which is not easy to read from the first phrase.

Assumed Know­ledge

Just because you think that she should know, does not mean that she does know. It think that it is my respons­ib­il­ity to teach my slave those abil­it­ies she needs to actu­ally meet my expect­a­tions. The for­mula is very simple. I can­not be mad at a child, because its shoe laces are not tied, when I have not taught that child how to do it. This applies not only to phys­ical abil­it­ies, such as clean­ing my shoes prop­erly, it also applies to the non-tangible things. Com­mu­nic­a­tion seems to be one of the non-tangible things which often leads to dis­com­fort in a Master/slave relationship.While all of us have a basic under­stand­ing of how to com­mu­nic­ate we are not all gif­ted with an intu­it­ive and well defined approach to com­mu­nic­a­tion. One of the secrets of com­mu­nic­at­ing well is to clearly define what kind of inform­a­tion needs to be trans­por­ted and what inform­a­tion is most import­ant. A good primer to com­mu­nic­a­tion can be found on this web-site, I would recom­mend that you are your slave study that page, out­lining where both of you see problems.

Infer­ence

noun
the reas­on­ing involved in draw­ing a con­clu­sion or mak­ing a logical judg­ment on the basis of cir­cum­stan­tial evid­ence and prior con­clu­sions rather than on the basis of dir­ect observation

As you did not under­stand what I wanted, as you did not do as I told you, I am now infer­ring that you never meant to please me. Do not fall into the trap I just described. If you study the defin­i­tion of infer­ence care­fully you will find that it touches on the two cul­prits i men­tioned before, assump­tions and expect­a­tions. Pun­ish­ment is never effect­ive when the per­son receiv­ing it is con­vinced that she tried to do everything in her power to actu­ally com­plete the task at hand to your sat­is­fac­tion. When she feels mis­un­der­stood and is not offered a way to rem­edy those mis­un­der­stand­ing you are cre­at­ing a cocoon of frus­tra­tion. No slave in their right mind will delib­er­ately choose to per­man­ently try and dis­please their owner. That is one assump­tion I have been mak­ing since I because affil­i­ated with the life­style and so far I have not been proven wrong.

It suf­fices to say, that if we assumed that your slave always had a desire to be pleas­ing but some­times she failed you due to poor or little com­mu­nic­a­tion, it is your fault just as much as it might be hers. Reduce the amount of assump­tions, make sure that you are both under­stand how to com­mu­nic­ate with each other and ensure that your slave has learned all the neces­sary abil­it­ies to be pleas­ing to you. If she does not know how to please you, ensure that she under­stands how to beg for that knowledge.