Hello my dear readers. To those of you who actually come back to read my web-site I must apologise. I have been unable to post for a while, because I have been busily visiting my slave. Yes, I am in Canada and I am having a lovely time putting all that theory I always preach into actual practice. Today my little slut has to work, so this is my chance to catch up and gather my thoughts.While we were visiting some of her friends which happen to be associated with the lifestyle as well, an interesting situation occurred. There is no need to expound on the specifics, but allow me to share a general point of view, something I have always stuck to.

Expectations

Expectations allows us to shape the future in a way that we can meet a certain goal. Slaves I have communicated with always assumed to have very clear directions on what their expectations were. This might stem from the fact that these expectations help your slave, just as much as they help mine, to know what is going to be pleasing and what not. Abstracts are always hard to understand, there is a vast amount of error you can introduce. The phrase “Be on time” introduces a multitude of assumptions. If those are assumptions which happen to be very well understood, then you are in a position where it is safe to communicate in such a manner. I would expect this type of communication only to work after many repetitions.The phrase “Be at the south entrance at 16:30 hours” might contain unnecessary detail because you assume that your slave knows where to be and when to be there when you say “on time” but it gives your slave an extra cushion of safety. She knows, quite clearly, what the criteria will be to that might upset you, something which is not easy to read from the first phrase.

Assumed Knowledge

Just because you think that she should know, does not mean that she does know. It think that it is my responsibility to teach my slave those abilities she needs to actually meet my expectations. The formula is very simple. I cannot be mad at a child, because its shoe laces are not tied, when I have not taught that child how to do it. This applies not only to physical abilities, such as cleaning my shoes properly, it also applies to the non-tangible things. Communication seems to be one of the non-tangible things which often leads to discomfort in a Master/slave relationship.While all of us have a basic understanding of how to communicate we are not all gifted with an intuitive and well defined approach to communication. One of the secrets of communicating well is to clearly define what kind of information needs to be transported and what information is most important. A good primer to communication can be found on this web-site, I would recommend that you are your slave study that page, outlining where both of you see problems.

Inference

noun
the reasoning involved in drawing a conclusion or making a logical judgment on the basis of circumstantial evidence and prior conclusions rather than on the basis of direct observation

As you did not understand what I wanted, as you did not do as I told you, I am now inferring that you never meant to please me. Do not fall into the trap I just described. If you study the definition of inference carefully you will find that it touches on the two culprits i mentioned before, assumptions and expectations. Punishment is never effective when the person receiving it is convinced that she tried to do everything in her power to actually complete the task at hand to your satisfaction. When she feels misunderstood and is not offered a way to remedy those misunderstanding you are creating a cocoon of frustration. No slave in their right mind will deliberately choose to permanently try and displease their owner. That is one assumption I have been making since I because affiliated with the lifestyle and so far I have not been proven wrong.

It suffices to say, that if we assumed that your slave always had a desire to be pleasing but sometimes she failed you due to poor or little communication, it is your fault just as much as it might be hers. Reduce the amount of assumptions, make sure that you are both understand how to communicate with each other and ensure that your slave has learned all the necessary abilities to be pleasing to you. If she does not know how to please you, ensure that she understands how to beg for that knowledge.

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