On Being A Lady And a Slave
Valued readers, once more I have to apologise for my inability to keep up with my blog. I wish I could put more effort into keeping everyone up-to-date. I have recently acquired a better hosting environments for the blogs and I am working diligently on moving this blog and my slave’s blog to the faster server. I will of course let you all know when the testing is done and the new machine is up and running. If everything goes well, this should be a transparent switch-over for all of you.
I feel that I have to set the record straight, not because my slave said something wrong in her post on why she aims to be a lady, but because I do not wish to be misunderstood.
I grew up with more women than men shaping my future, simply because my father died when I was very young and even though I have a loving stepfather he had left my education very much to my mother, her sisters and to no small extent to my grandmother. I have the greatest respect for women, I understand that they are equally capable of shaping and leading this world and I do not believe that women are inferior to men in any way shape or form when it comes to abstracts. Will a heavyweight boxer that is male, always beat a heavyweight boxer that is female, it seems very likely, and those distinctions I do make.
I was raised to be a gentlemen and to this very day I still insists on certain things that many of the younger readers might find odd. I insist on opening the car door for my slave to get in and out, I insist on opening doors she passes through and I insist on seating her at the table when we go out. I do these things not because I wish for her to perceive me as her servant in those matters, but because I claim them to be my right.
I have a right to do those things because I am male and that used to be expected by a well educated young man and I do not want our societies watered down norms to take that away from me.
When it comes to ladies, I feel it is the reverse. I love for my slave to express her freedom and to have no need to be constrained by what society expects from her, however as our societies values are deteriorating rather quickly, I appreciate the fact that she will always be someone that I can trust to behave perfectly.
That has nothing to do with being a lady though. To me that is simply knowing when you need to exhibit certain behaviours and what is acceptable at that very moment in time. I want my slave to by just that, my slave. But as my slave she will know exactly how to behave according to the situation she is in. That is my duty as her owner, I need to ensure that she understands that and I am the one to blame if she cannot deliver me that wish.
Luckily for me when it comes to behaviour in public my slave is already well trained and I see no reason why I would want to change any of that. I think I should enforce a little more femininity now and then but that is very seldom. I love the fact that my slave is not an artificial being clouded in a layer of make-up when she leaves the home for just a normal day out, but I do feel we need to work on the dressing up when it is not just a simple day out.
I want her to be the centre of attention, because I know that behind every great man there is an even greater woman. It is important to me to establish that understanding with her and of course with the people that she and I will meet together.
I want others to want her, whether that is my boss in a completely innocent setting or a fellow Dominant in the depths of a dungeon. I want my possession to be something desirable, something nations would wage war over and bold men would pick weapons up for. That is slightly idealistic, but it is still an exhilarating feeling when you can think about your slave that way and it that very moment your partner.
That has nothing to do with being a lady though. To me that is simply knowing when you need to exhibit certain behaviours and what is acceptable at that very moment in time. I want my slave to by just that, my slave. But as my slave she will know exactly how to behave according to the situation she is in. That is my duty as her owner, I need to ensure that she understands that and I am the one to blaim if she cannot deliver me that wish.
Luckily for me when it comes to behaviour in public my slave is already well trained and I see no reason why I would want to change any of that. I think I should encorce a little more femininity now and then but that is very seldom. I love the fact that my slave is not an artificial being clouded in a layer of make-up when she leaves the home for just a normal day out, but I do feel we need to work on the dressing up when it is not just a simple day out.
I want her to be the center of attention, because I know that behind every great man there is an even greater woman. It is important to me to establish that understanding with her and of course with the people that she and I will meet together.
I want others to want her, whether that is my boss in a completely innocent setting or a fellow Dominant in the depths of a dungeon. I want my possession to be something desirable, something nations would wage war over and bold men would pick weapons up for. That is slightly idealistic, but it is still an exhilarating feeling when you can think about your slave that way and it that very moment your partner.
Because I am not living in an utopia where it is socially acceptable to own my slave and literally have her be my possession, no matter how much she wants that, I have come to the realisation that my way to compensate for that is to turn her into something so desirable, that others simply want to participate. I want them to ask me how I did this and why it is possible for us to lead a life that is usually filled with nothing but excitement and adventure as we both grow together.
I want her to be able to behave like my fair lady, my bitch, my fuckholes, my pony, my maid, my toilett, but I aways want her to be my slave and my precious possession.
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i absolutely love your line of thinking. This is exactly what i had envisioned of what i wanted to be for my Master. i do earnestly wish that i could literally be owned by Master. The closest thing (which is far from the lifestyle) is matrimony. The problem that we run into is that most marriages these days are egalitarian. i would sooner slit my wrists and bleed out to a slow death than to be in a marriage that was “equal”. A fair amount of married folk are so involved in their own personal identities and goings on that the couple seems more to be like roommates with conjugal privileges.
In order to keep people tied to the Christian faith, most churches have watered down their doctrine. When i went to church as a kid, the sermons/homilies were focused on how a woman ought to serve her husband. i would think that God or whatever else runs the universe wanted all one gender with the same type of wiring and capabilities that (He/She/It) would have made everyone the same gender and able to procreate asexually.
i would absolutely love it if men would be men and women would no longer shun their uniqueness and not try to be a man. i think it is a horrible disservice when a man is hen-pecked by his partner. It whittles away at a man’s ego, and confidence.
Something, somewhere has got to change. Though people may nay-say that it is impossible that one day it will be impossible to own slaves publicly, keep this in mind, Christianity essentially started with 13 people and is now a HUGE religion.
i commend the efforts you and your slave have taken to make sure people can make an informed decision about the life they want for themselves, as well as maybe coming around to see the beauty of the life that Masters and slaves live.
Careful jerusha, it reads as if you’re being a bit judgmental of the life choices of others. Acceptance is a two way street. As an outsider to the BDSM community, I can say that at least to my ear, hearing the merits of the lifestyle is far more likely to lead me toward its acceptance then the criticism of others. And let’s not forget there are plenty of men out there who enjoy submission to women (some men enjoy getting berated by women, I’m sure), or men to men, or women to women. Let us not confound male/female with Dominant/submissive.
Gender is a social construct — quite different from sex. There are certain innate qualities to men making them by and large the more physically adept at the sexes, but as physicality (at least in teams of body strength) seems to be of ever dwindling importance (in terms of employment, self defense, simple day to day living).
The traits chosen to define femininity and masculinity are malleable, evolving and by no means universal. A few centuries ago a nice pair of frilly pumps to show off the curve of one’s calf would have complimented a man’s masculinity just fine at Versailles.
Gender carries only whatever meaning with which a particular social group or persons choose to imbue it. Master’s idea of gender appears to be rooted in American Modern conventions (and I use the term in reference to Modernism, not contemporary times) with European roots. A different ethnic, social, or as he indicated, age group may view his actions as subservient within the context of their culture. Cultural relativism can be a difficult pill to swallow, I know.
I would, of course, accept and appreciate these gestures from a young man who believed them an important expression of his masculinity, especially if I cared for him. It might even strike a silent chord or warm appreciation, as the majority of my understanding of what it is to be a woman and a lady was handed down from my nuclear 1950’s housewife grandmother. However, I completely understand how some women would chose not to accept these types of gestures, as they undeniably reinforce gender norms with which they may vehemently disagree. I see nothing wring with that and would support them in their choices as well.
The ‘watering down’ of gender norms is, in my opinion, not something to be discouraged or mourned. This liberates men, women, and those who identify differently to chose how they want to define themselves, their relationships and their gender on their own terms. If Master (referring to him by his user name always takes me back a moment ha) were to perform these gestures for his slave or anyone else, they would appear all the more meaningful to my eyes because he chose to do so of his own volition — not because he is bound to by social norms. His intent whether it be the expression of consideration or the assertion of his masculinity and sophistication would be amplified exponentially.
I believe the same can be said for subservience. My grandfather, known only to me as a hilarious, sweet old man, was once a violent alcoholic who beat my grandmother. When she turned to the community and her church for help, she was lead to doctors, who rather then got her the help she so desperately needed, put her on a potent cocktail of ‘stress relievers’. I remind myself of this whenever I feel the glow of 50’s nostalgia coming on. She’s happy enough now, but when she speaks to me of her past and my future, I can see anger in her eyes and catch the mild resentment in her tone. She was not given the opportunity to chose, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
If I were to submit to someone free of social, religious, and/or economic pressures I’d like to think that renders my submission all the more significant and valuable. That of course, is only my take on things, and I wouldn’t expect or want others, certainly not everyone, to feel the same.