Gender is a social construct — quite different from sex. There are certain innate qualities to men making them by and large the more physically adept at the sexes, but as physicality (at least in teams of body strength) seems to be of ever dwindling importance (in terms of employment, self defense, simple day to day living).

The traits chosen to define femininity and masculinity are malleable, evolving and by no means universal. A few centuries ago a nice pair of frilly pumps to show off the curve of one’s calf would have complimented a man’s masculinity just fine at Versailles.

Gender carries only whatever meaning with which a particular social group or persons choose to imbue it. Master’s idea of gender appears to be rooted in American Modern conventions (and I use the term in reference to Modernism, not contemporary times) with European roots. A different ethnic, social, or as he indicated, age group may view his actions as subservient within the context of their culture. Cultural relativism can be a difficult pill to swallow, I know.

I would, of course, accept and appreciate these gestures from a young man who believed them an important expression of his masculinity, especially if I cared for him. It might even strike a silent chord or warm appreciation, as the majority of my understanding of what it is to be a woman and a lady was handed down from my nuclear 1950’s housewife grandmother. However, I completely understand how some women would chose not to accept these types of gestures, as they undeniably reinforce gender norms with which they may vehemently disagree. I see nothing wring with that and would support them in their choices as well.

The ‘watering down’ of gender norms is, in my opinion, not something to be discouraged or mourned. This liberates men, women, and those who identify differently to chose how they want to define themselves, their relationships and their gender on their own terms. If Master (referring to him by his user name always takes me back a moment ha) were to perform these gestures for his slave or anyone else, they would appear all the more meaningful to my eyes because he chose to do so of his own volition — not because he is bound to by social norms. His intent whether it be the expression of consideration or the assertion of his masculinity and sophistication would be amplified exponentially.

I believe the same can be said for subservience. My grandfather, known only to me as a hilarious, sweet old man, was once a violent alcoholic who beat my grandmother. When she turned to the community and her church for help, she was lead to doctors, who rather then got her the help she so desperately needed, put her on a potent cocktail of ‘stress relievers’. I remind myself of this whenever I feel the glow of 50’s nostalgia coming on. She’s happy enough now, but when she speaks to me of her past and my future, I can see anger in her eyes and catch the mild resentment in her tone. She was not given the opportunity to chose, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

If I were to submit to someone free of social, religious, and/or economic pressures I’d like to think that renders my submission all the more significant and valuable. That of course, is only my take on things, and I wouldn’t expect or want others, certainly not everyone, to feel the same.

In order to keep people tied to the Christian faith, most churches have watered down their doctrine. When i went to church as a kid, the sermons/homilies were focused on how a woman ought to serve her husband. i would think that God or whatever else runs the universe wanted all one gender with the same type of wiring and capabilities that (He/She/It) would have made everyone the same gender and able to procreate asexually.

i would absolutely love it if men would be men and women would no longer shun their uniqueness and not try to be a man. i think it is a horrible disservice when a man is hen-pecked by his partner. It whittles away at a man’s ego, and confidence.

Something, somewhere has got to change. Though people may nay-say that it is impossible that one day it will be impossible to own slaves publicly, keep this in mind, Christianity essentially started with 13 people and is now a HUGE religion.

i commend the efforts you and your slave have taken to make sure people can make an informed decision about the life they want for themselves, as well as maybe coming around to see the beauty of the life that Masters and slaves live.