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How to properly treat and train your property

How To Train Your Slave

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The inter­net is filled with clever and some­times down­right stu­pid ideas. Advise comes from a mul­ti­tude of sources and I believe that it is time to add another for a topic I am very keen on. How do you train your slave and is it even pos­sible to train a human being to become what once was the vis­ion of another? This art­icle should provide some insights into how to bet­ter train your slave.

How We Train

I believe that we should take a step back to under­stand what I see as train­ing, as it has the concept of learn­ing at its very core. Learn­ing comes in many form and if you believe recent stud­ies there is an emer­ging trend towards Inquiry-based Learn­ing. I find that the idea it is based on can be best under­stood by look­ing at this old saying:

Tell me and I for­get, show me and I remem­ber, involve me and I understand.”

The concept of Inquiry-based learn­ing sat­is­fies a require­ment for me which is essen­tial to me. In order for my slave to learn and to be trained to become what I want her to be I need to involve her in the whole pro­cess. She needs to under­stand what it is that I expect and not simply be dir­ec­ted to go through a step based pro­cess without know­ing the goal or hav­ing a direction.

Learn­ing Experiences

Not only can we address the learn­ing pro­cess in a sens­ible man­ner, depend­ing on what you want to achieve you might have to adjust the way you are teach­ing. Your brain has two major areas which are respons­ible for learn­ing experiences:

The Neo­cor­tex
Your Neo­cor­tex grasps con­cepts and logic. This part of the brain helps you fig­ure out how to use a com­puter or how to apply the know­ledge from a book you read to your next sales call.
The limbic system
Your limbic sys­tem gov­erns feel­ings, impulses and drives.

While your Neo­cor­tex learn by absorb­ing and ana­lys­ing inform­a­tion, because it is able to apply abstract con­cepts to any given situ­ation your limbic sys­tem learns best through motiv­a­tion, exten­ded prac­tice and feedback.

Adjust Your Training

You need to care­fully adjust the way you train your slave depend­ing on what you wish to do. If she is to under­stand and per­form a Japan­ese tea cere­mony per­fectly the neo­cor­tex approach is an abso­lutely valid on, couple with prac­tice. If you expect your slave to feel happy and get excited every-time she hears your voice you will need to define a clever way of work­ing with her limbic sys­tem. Motiv­ate her, prac­tice with her by being around and listen to her feedback.

Whatever you teach your slave you can execute as learn­ing exper­i­ence. A small table recently pub­lished in the spe­cial HBS centen­nial Issue on page 63 reads as fol­lows: (I have changed some words to reflect the M/s con­text)

Exe­cu­tion As Learning

Mas­ters (Lead­ers) set dir­ec­tion and artic­u­late the mission.
Slaves (Employ­ees) [usu­ally in teams] dis­cover answers.
Tent­at­ive pro­cesses are set up as a start­ing point.
Work pro­cesses keep devel­op­ing; small changes — exper­i­ments and improve­ments — are a way of life.
Feed­back is always two-way: The Mas­ter (boss) gives feed­back in the form of coach­ing and advise; slave (team mem­bers) give feed­back about what they are learn­ing from doing the (ever-changing) work.
Prob­lem solv­ing is con­stantly needed, so valu­able inform­a­tion is provided to guide slaves’ (employ­ees’) judgement.
Fear cripples the learn­ing pro­cess: It inhib­its exper­i­ment­a­tion, lowers aware­ness of options, and dis­cour­ages people from shar­ing and ana­lys­ing insights, ques­tions, and problems.

Pre­cisely and quite to the point this table describes what you can and can­not do while you are in the pro­cess of train­ing your slave. I would like to stress what has been said in the last table item. You can­not train your slave, expect­ing her to improve her­self and at the same time you pun­ish her for mis­takes or minor set-backs. It is imper­at­ive for her to find the best way of train­ing her­self to be bet­ter for you. It is impossible for you to know what works best for every given situ­ation you need to be able to rely in your slave for feed­back. That feed­back will only be open and hon­est when your slave knows that she will not be hurt or pun­ished over it.

As men­tioned above this is a two edged sword, your feed­back is equally import­ant, espe­cially for areas which are very emo­tional or require your slave to learn a new skill which changes the way her body reacts or feels. This all plays into the fact that her limbic sys­tem is hard at work, long after her neo­cor­tex has under­stood what you are try­ing to do.

It is your duty, as her owner, to cre­ate an envir­on­ment of psy­cho­lo­gical safety as well as account­ab­il­ity for meet­ing demand­ing goals. Your slave wants to achieve and excel, she wants to be found pleas­ing and that plays in your favour. Set­ting demand­ing goals is not going to frus­trate her, the oppos­ite is the case. It is then up to you to cre­ate and envir­on­ment where psy­cho­lo­gical safety allows her to exper­i­ment and determ­ine an optimal way of achiev­ing the goals you have set.

Bring­ing It Together

While this all seems very the­or­et­ical there are four easy steps I feel many can apply to this concept of train­ing and learning.

  1. Explain what you want to do and how. Estab­lish an under­stand­ing of what the pro­cess will be to try and achieve your mutual goals.
  2. Provide her with the neces­sary tools and make it clear that she is to col­lab­or­ate with other slaves on this goal.
  3. Gather her feed­back, col­lect as much data on her pro­gress as you can and share it.
  4. Insist on dis­cip­lined reflec­tion, insti­tu­tion­al­ise it. Try to teach her about “Han­sei

Armed with this addi­tional know­ledge it should be much easier for you to devise a bet­ter way of train­ing and learn­ing for your slave. Please remem­ber that this is not a simple case of you dic­tat­ing and your slave doing, this is an integ­rated pro­cess and you will need your slaves input if you wish to be successful.

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4 Comments

  1. I know for me its more than under­stand­ing what is expec­ted of me, I like to know the why behind it. Some­times there isn’t a why which makes the task more dif­fi­cult for me because if it doesn’t make sense to me I find it harder to remem­ber and com­ply. When I under­stand it, I find that it is so much easier to integ­rate the task and com­ply with ease.

    There are always little things that are “because I said so” but for the most part my rules, and dir­ec­tions have a reason behind them that allows me to under­stand. I totally agree that just dic­tat­ing and pun­ish­ing for non-compliance doesn’t work. In fact I know for me this has the oppos­ite effect, I become defi­ant and agitated.

    I want to please, my goal is not to dis­obey and most infrac­tions are uncon­scious which is when Mas­ter brings brings me back, ground­ing me and refo­cus­ing me on the task.

    Respect­fully,

    Ms

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  2. Ms,
    I com­pletely agree with you. I know for me I have to know the “why” behind everything; I always have ever since I was a little girl. I had a math teacher once who had to go allll the way back to Egyp­tian times to help me under­stand frac­tions. Poor teacher but once I knew the why I became a big fan of frac­tions and to this day enjoy doing them.

    I believe more people want to under­stand the reason for a dir­ec­tion and good com­mu­nic­a­tion allows for that.

    Thank you for your responses.

    ~His grace

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  3. Ok, to start, I hav­ing only recently start­ing hon­estly study­ing the BDSM side of myself. My past rela­tion­ships have all ended up with some degree of this life­style, which I pre­vi­ously attrib­uted to my part­ners. Tak­ing a long hard look, and an unbiased one at that, I have recently dis­covered my dom­in­ant nature as more than a concept and real­ized that said rela­tion­ships did not “end up” that way. Rather, it is what I was seek­ing, even if on a semi-subconscious level.

    That said, I have friends within the com­munity that have lived in this man­ner for some time. I have been seek­ing advice and guid­ance from both Mas­ter and slave on how best to pro­ceed with my new found rev­el­a­tion. I take the role of Mas­ter very ser­i­ously, and my approach to everything in my life is from a logical stand­point. I see it as most logical to gain as much know­ledge as pos­sible before tak­ing on the role of Mas­ter. A slave I know dir­ec­ted me to the blogs of you and your slave. I have to say that I have found both of your blogs very inform­at­ive and very inter­est­ing as well. You both seem to be very well edu­cated and well versed on many topics.

    All that being said, hav­ing read this post I am left with a burn­ing ques­tion. You have stressed the import­ance of Han­sei for your slave. Do you hold your own learn­ing to the same meas­ure? That is to say, do you view your role as Mas­ter to be gov­erned by Hansei?

    Thanks for your time and effort in your blogs, to both you and your slave. You are very straight for­ward and hon­est. I have a great deal of respect for someone with strong ideals and the cour­age to not only uphold them, but to pub­licly dis­cuss them. As for you being “old school,” I too hold the door open for women, and push in their chairs etc. I am from the U.S. and I feel that a great deal that is wrong with this nation today can be attrib­uted to the lack of these “old school” ideals and the lack of com­mon cour­tesy. Kudos to you my friend, and keep up the great writings.

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    • Yes i do. Every Dom­in­ant should hold him­self to a higher stand­ard than the one he expects off his property.

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