Her Owner

UPDATE: Now with pictures, read to the end though first

Control and power have always gone hand in hand for me. There is no merit in all the power of the world when you are unable to control it. Just as mankind has learned to harness the power of the atom and then control it, I have to teach myself everyday how to exert my control.

Recently I have been thinking a little more about this very topic and that has been brought on by a new “toy” that we acquired. It is actually a car, but given the fact that it is a performance car with absolutely no legitimate reason to still exist in our globally warmed up world, I will refer to it as a the “boy toy”.

Apart from every technical gadgets conceivable by the Audi engineers this bot toy comes with an engine that tries to convince the driver that he is actually part time pilot in a rocket ship rather than normal diver of a car. The good old combustion engine has been the embodiment of raw energy for so many years and Audi seems to have taken it to a whole new level with this one. Good reliable “Vorsprung durch Technik”. There is only one problem with this whole picture of the gas guzzling, V8 roaring power plant and that comes in the form of speed limits.

Speed limits can be found everywhere in life and as much as they apply to my right foot when it gets tempted to press the accelerator paddle just a little further down, they also apply to a Master and slave relationship.

My slave has given me total control over her a long time ago, proverbially she has put me in control of her engine. I can rev it as highly as I want, I can turn it on and off and I can control every aspect of it.

A far too simplistic view. It would be nice if life was that simple and modern engines are like life. Much like the ECU in my car which does not allow me to control all aspects of the engine, there is an ECU that drives my slave. That ECU does not like to play ball now and then and that is when power meets control and vice versa.

I know that my slave is incredibly powerful in her own right that “her engine” sometimes screams to be unleashed asking me to put the pedal to the metal. So there I am, ready to grip her (steering wheel) a little harder, preparing for the kickback, only to notice that nothing happens. When it comes to certain topics in our relationship, such as animals, puppy play, bimbo play and some others I can press the pedal as much as I want, her internal ECU seems to say quite decisively:
“Not today, buster!”.

Why would that be a problem though?

When you are stopped by flashing blue lights, it is too late you already broke the speed limit. When the rev limiter kicks in, it is already too late you pushed the engine too hard. When my slave’s internal “management” kicks in it is too late as well, the damage has already been done.

Having all the power of the world and not knowing how to control it can only cause more harm than good. Which is very poignantly so proven by the occurrence of Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

I know that I need to restrain myself and apply more pressure (to her gas pedal) only when I can be sure that the speed limit and the road conditions allow for it.

Every-time I am about to hit 70 KMH in third gear and want to push on I am reminded of that. It is physically hard for me to ease off the accelerator. I want to push on, go faster, abuse the power I have. Just as a part of my slave seems to be talking to me, clawing at walls, a monster that wants to be unleashed, the boy toy does the same. A rumbling of 420, V8 enabled, horses trying to break out of the corral.

Which brings me to another point:
Knowing your limits applies to everything and sometimes you need to limit yourself until you are ready.

This car has an “S” Button, which puts the car into sports mode. Apparently that changes throttle behaviour and generally changes the boy toy from a purring big tiger into a really pissed off Kodiak bear. I have had the boy toy for about a week now and I have not used that button yet.

I know that I am not ready for it yet. As the boy toy is a manual I have to get used to the clutch, the resistance point and driving a car with an electronic accelerator pedal. Shifting out of first into second is not as smooth as I would like it to be just yet and quicker throttle response will not help with the learning process.
I have been driving a manual all my life, just like I believe that deep inside I have been a dominant all my life, but that does not mean I am ready to be a rigger or toss my whip at my slave’s back nor does owning a boy toy automatically make me a second Mikka Häkkinnen.

I guess what it all boils down to is that true control is with those who have ultimate power but rarely if ever make use of it.

The knowledge that I can go from 0 KMH to 100 KMH (that is 0 MPH to 60 MPH for you US readers) in 4.8 seconds is enough. I do not need to prove it to myself everyday by drag racing down Eglington Avenue. I am safe in my understanding and belief that when I need the power it is there. Just like I know that when I need to unleash the beast in my slave it will happily come out and play.

Am I ready for that? I do not know, we shall find out soon enough now that the cage is no longer 8000 kilometres away from me.

…and on a side note, if you want pictures of the boy toy, leave me a comment.
…and here they are, over on flickr