Her Owner

I spent the last few days being sick. Not due to some illness that had befallen me, but my choice. My wisdom teeth had to come out and because I am notoriously shy when it comes to going to the dentist I gathered all my resolve and “had it done”. Being dependent on my slave is nothing I fear, I am not the stereotypical male with the hardcore belief system that you only go to the doctor when your arm half falls off and that crying from excruciating pain makes you a “pussy”.

My inability to be in control over the past couple of days, mostly thanks to the wonderfully effective oxycodone I happily swallowed every four hours,was not truly a choice of mine. I loath the feeling of loosing control over myself and the situation I am in or about to put myself in.

I have and had nothing to worry about though. As prejudice as it may sound, I personally feel that there seems to be a lack of respect on the most basic level for slaves. This is especially something I seem to notice when ownership is already established and “Master does as he likes”. I came to ask myself what it is that makes us dominants think of our slaves more like a chore rather than a precious commodity.

I will no try to lump everyone together, so this is directed at the ones who do not feel that being “nice” or considerate belong in the “job description” of being a dominant.
That we live in an illusion of control as dominants should be something that we can all agree on by now. There are enough articles, resources and lengthy essays on the topic strewn all over the digital space. I do not think it is necessary to revisit the topic, let us assume for it to be true.

It is my slave’s choice to serve me and to subject herself to my control and her emotional well being plays an important role in that ability. For her to serve well it is in my best interest to keep her in a state where she is not only emotionally complete but where she feels appreciated. Through the haze and mist of demeaning behaviour, abusive language and degrading play with any human being there is always an inner core left which needs nurturing.

My ability to balance minimum of effort with maximum impact makes it easy to manage my slave and her expectations, not only in me, but also herself. Stopping by the store on my way home to pick up a single flower has insignificant impact on free time or money, but the gesture itself has a maximum of impact on her. Not only does it reflect that I care about her, it is also a calculated gesture to reinforce that I appreciate the emotional and physical toll my slave is paying everyday by being who she is.

Being considerate is not about cuddling and spoiling your property, it also most definitely is not about spending thousands of dollars on her. The requirement is one that is much harder to fulfill and that is what makes it so precious to her, you need to invest time and thought.

There are thousands of ways to invest some thought into what your slave does for you on a daily basis and I am not only referring to plain servitude that might be encapsulated in her cooking, cleaning, washing, doing the taxes, baking, sucking your cock or walking the dog. Your mileage will vary and you know best how your slave is most useful to you in the environment you have chosen to create for each other.

You will not create an imbalance in power just because you decide to do the dishes for once or because you decide to cook next Friday. Consistency is important in any Master/slave relationship but exceptions only reinforce the rule. Your property knows very well that you do not have to do the dishes, that you do not have to cook. She understands that you do it as a choice, that you choose to do it, because you decided that she deserves it. You are gifting her with your time and what is there that is more precious in this world. Time easily is the one commodity that cannot be recovered, once it is given or used for a particular circumstance it is gone, irrevocably so.  What better and more pleasing is there to anyone than to think “…and he spent it on me…”.

The fact that I bring home a flower is negligible, sure it looks good and I know my slave likes roses what makes it special is that I invested time. I would sincerely suggest that you reconsider the next time you feel that a manicure or a new haircut is an adequate way to guerdon your slave. How much time do you invest in her nails or her hair?

Your properties emotional well being is the most precious commodity you have in your relationship and by extension that makes her physical form just as important. Closing the loop and returning to the statement of being nice, I took the liberty of looking up the term nice, amongst many other definition, this is the one that struck me most:

Exhibiting courtesy and politeness: a nice gesture.

To me it is quite obvious that regardless of the lifestyle we choose to make a part of who we are exhibiting courtesy and politeness should be a part of any relationship. I accede that courtesy and politeness in a M/s relationship need to be measured against a different scale than in a vanilla relationship, yet they need to be present and ingrained in the dynamic of the relationship for it to truly work.

Sustainability can only be achieved when you replenish what you take at an equal or greater rate than it is being depleted. I am not advocating for you to be the nicest Master on the planet nor do I think that every slave needs the same level of courtesy and politeness. Some might need little to none others might be more fragile and demand such attention in order not to break, but what I urge anyone is to find their equilibrium of niceness.

Treat your property as the rarest of commodities, with the understand that what you take out of her might not be so easily replaced and what you might end up replacing it with might turn out to not be pleasing at all.