Her Owner

Bridging the gap between myself and my slave in terms of distance was a very important event in my life. Important on many levels and I have written about that in my Proximity entry. I would assert that nearly nothing has come of my physical proximity to my slave but good things. There is one thing that has been on my mind for a while now and as my slave is on holidays in British Columbia I had some time to wrap my thoughts around it.

I love my girl and as much as I do not announce it on a daily basis it governs some of my decisions. I am still getting used to her as well, her behaviour in the environment that is our home and some of the quirks we both exhibit. There is one fact that remains though which I do not get used to anymore, she is my slave. I own her and as such it is up to me to define an environment where she can excel at being everything I want her to be.

Avid readers of this blog will remember that I am not a fan of physical punishment. It is a type of punishment that has no long term effect and as a teaching tool it is most ineffective. I have pondered whether that is true as well when you are trying to enforce something that has already been learned.

I believe that my slave is well aware of her position in life with me. I trust her to understand that she is not my girlfriend and that I do not wish for her to become my partner or confidant. I believe that she knows all this and therefore physical punishment might work well as a reminder where words are easily forgotten or unintentionally ignored.

My fear is that we are slipping away into a comfort zone we both do not wish to leave anymore because we are trapped in our routine.  Routine often validates behaviourism and makes it tolerable no matter how unacceptable it is to the rest of the parties involved. I loath the day I have allowed my slave to slip away into a cushion of comfort and all of the same freedom and privileges that any vanilla relationship has all of s sudden apply to her. Not because I chose to give them to her, but because routine crept in, because I let something slip once too often and because I did not tell her often enough.

I hate repeating myself and while I am a patient man I admit to not being the most patient teacher. I will only request and repeat myself so often before I actually stop requesting it. That is a very bad trait of mine, because my inaction validates my slave’s action. Regardless whether they are bad or good, it sets a precedence of what is appropriate and what is not.

I have decided that I will setup clear rules around areas which I have not been too clear on lately. They will cover her appearance, the chores she has to complete, what she is allowed to do and what not. I will create a simple ticket system that is paid for in pain.
You forget to take your epinephrine pen as told, that is a fine of XX crop marks on the ass.

I think all of you understand the basic concept. There might be occasions where it is possible to wind yourself out of a ticket but that will be a rare occurrence from now on. There is a new sheriff in town and he seems to be a bit of a hard ass.

I hope these changes will make it easier for my slave to focus as it will become apparent to her what is acceptable and what is not in a very black and white manner, something I know that she will react well to.

I do this not because I feel that she has failed me in the past, but because I think I have failed her in the past two months. We went a little off course and it is time to bring this ship around.