There are days when FetLife brings me the greatest joy. Recently I have had the pleasure of indulging in a conversation with a curious, and by her own admittance, new to the lifestyle individual.
She has many questions and engages in her own soul searching to understand whether she has a submissive nature and whether the sexual cravings she is experiencing are more fetish than anything else.
I recommended that she read this blog and my slave’s web-site as well, which she partially did and many interesting questions popped up because of that. One of the questions centred around my ability to remove my slave’s freedom at my whim. As someone that is independent and smart it is important to her to express that independence through her freedom and her drive to reach her own goals.
This lead me to a rather philosophical question lurking in the back of my head. If freedom is the expression of choice or to put it as the dictionary puts it:
the power to exercise choice and make decisions without constraint from within or without; autonomy; self-determination. Compare necessit
then is my slave’s choice of her slavery to me and expression of her freedom?
Have we been taught, through history lessons and the perils our parents had in the past that freedom automatically equates to the more common definition you can find in a dictionary:
exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.
If freedom is truly the expression of choice and freedom enables us as individuals to make those choices than placing her freedom in my hands is my slave’s choice and thus her freedom.
While that sounds complicated I do not believe it actually is. Her slavery is an expression of a freedom given to her by the society she lives in, including the cultural and state assistance she receives by being a Canadian citizen.
It is also part of her freedom and part of the slavery model I engage in with her, that she can remove that freedom she gave me at any time.Our relationship is unique in that she has chosen to give me something that is inherently unique to each individual in a society and usually is not shared.
Personal freedom.
She chooses to restrict her freedom and what part she does not engage in, she gives to me. By that very action she is actually extending my personal freedom, including herself in a bubble that usually only applies to me.
I believe that my slave and I are empowered to sustain a relationship as complicated and fragile as this, because there is a trust model built into sharing freedom which is much more demanding than the model we would usually see in a traditional relationship. While we care about our partners and admiration, love and acceptance lead us to take many responsibilities, I believe I have more. I take responsibility for my slave’s physical well being. That goes down to the n-th degree where I need to decide whether to send her to the doctor or not.
Trust is a fundamental element in a successful environment that thrives on freedom. I will stipulate that the United States and each individual in the United States is going through this very predicament at the moment. Where does personal freedom end when it comes to protection from terrorism and if I trust the government to limit my freedom for the greater good, how can I verify that they are doing what they say they need to do?
As a matter of fact does trust not define the degree of freedom that you engage in yourself and grant to others? I know that my trust is fundamental to the way I perceive the world around me. I naturally lack trust,m so it always has been an uphill battle for me to become comfortable enough to allow others and myself freedom.
To me freedom is the expression of our choices and my slave has more freedom than most people in this world. Not only because she does not have to live with an oppressive regime and is allowed to express herself as an equal member of society, but also because she has the choice, the freedom to turn a Master back into a normal man.
Hi! I commented on your slave’s blog a few days ago, but I read yours as well. I really like what you said in this entry. It shows the kind of trust and care that is found in only the best of bdsm relationships. Your last line speaks volumes. I view the relationship you two have as an ideal state I would like to someday reach with my Master. Thank you both for sharing your thoughts. I look forward to reading future additions to your blogs.
Thank you very much. I feel flattered that you would put our relationship on a pedestal this high, but I also have to stress that there are others out there which have a different dynamic than we do and still they are quite capable Masters and slaves in their relationships. Please do share our sites with friends that might be interested, the more people read these resources, the better we are serving our community.
It seems as if we arrived at similar destinations while wandering down different paths, which is encouraging. I have a habit of taking for granted everyone follows my leaps in logic, as they seem so reasonable to my mind. Your conclusion makes explicit the implication of my own – that submission is made all the more valuable and significant within the context of a society where submissives have the economic, religious, and legal freedom to deny anyone to whom they’ve relinquished certain rights.
This is the site of yet another conflict. In the absence of all the aforementioned forces at play, what would deter a submissive from denying a request he/she felt no desire to fulfill? Loyalty, love, trust, an underlying desire to please, fear of punishment… I only become uncomfortable when I pause to consider fear of falling out of their Master’s favor. If a slave, desperately head over heels for their master, obeyed based on that fear, love would be used as a sort of leverage and I’m not sure how I feel about that.
I suppose I’ve bought into the rhetoric of love being unconditional. I’ve been questioning those ideas as of late but imagine even if I could justify them they would not apply to your relationship. She is not your girlfriend. She is not your wife. She is your slave. Master/slave appears to be a co-dependency of sorts from an outside perspective. Neither can live as one without the other. It all seems so precarious.