photo credit: milena mihaylova
I have never been opposed to watch­ing oth­ers per­form sexual acts. In fact I enjoy the human form enough to appre­ci­ate the raw energy and erot­i­cism in it. Even por­no­graphic dis­plays can have their own allure.There might not be much of an artistic streak to them, but some exhibit a very pleas­ing and force­ful energy of raw use.

kaja, myself and my slave all use Macin­tosh Com­puters. Every Mac comes with a handy pro­gram called iChat, which amongst other things enables you to very eas­ily have video con­fer­ences. My slave and myself have been explor­ing this abil­ity more as of late with kaja. It is nice to see and hear her when we have just nor­mal con­ver­sa­tion but it also allows us to show her what we are doing. We have learned that she is just as much of a voyeur as she is an exhib­i­tion­ist.

A video con­fer­ence con­ver­sa­tion happened yes­ter­day and amidst my slave suck­ing my cock and kaja play­ing with her asscunt and cunt for our view­ing pleas­ure I was asked whether I had enjoyed watch­ing kaja, whether it had brought me pleasure.

The ini­tial thought in my head imme­di­ately trans­lated into an answer of “Of course I did!”, yet think­ing about this now I am not quite sure whether it was simply enjoy­ment or some­thing much more fun­da­mental that I received from this exchange.
My slave being a part of it and know­ing that kaja is obey­ing our wishes and expos­ing her­self not for her own gain, but our pleas­ure cre­ates a dynamic that is very dif­fer­ent from simply watch­ing someone mas­turb­ate. Every­one will get to their point in life where they at least have a chance to exper­i­ence that, maybe not using a cam­era and a com­puter but at least in real life. Up close and per­sonal with a cunt or cock.

The joy I did not derive from watch­ing, albeit kaja hav­ing a beau­ti­fully shaped and very pleas­ing to look at cunt, the joy I derived from know­ing where I was and with whom. My slave being pleas­ing to me is the most reward­ing thing I can ask for as a dom­in­ant. The fact that she allows me to gain pleas­ure from con­trolling yet another indi­vidual and also know­ing that I will have her ded­ic­a­tion to con­trolling that indi­vidual as well is very thick icing on an already delect­able cake.

Did I derive pleas­ure and joy from the mere act of watch­ing kaja play? I think I can hon­estly say that I did not. The mere act of watch­ing her play with her­self might be erotic in itself but it does not trig­ger the joy and pleas­ure I felt.  I now know that it is a very unique com­bin­a­tion of all things and I also under­stand that I like the idea of my slave con­trolling someone for my pleas­ure more than I would have wanted to admit to myself a few months back.

See­ing  my slave as an exten­sion of myself, as the executor of my wishes, and still deriv­ing some form of pleas­ure from it simply put makes me happy. It feels good. There is a lack of explan­a­tion as to why, how­ever that is of no con­cern to me at the moment. I am trust­ing my belly to make the right decision there.

I am get­ting to know myself bet­ter and I am also get­ting more relaxed and thus more open to my own emo­tions as I feel my slave relax­ing. I men­tioned before that my slave is a lot slower in her decisions when it comes to inter­ac­tion with other indi­vidu­als in such a BDSM type man­ner. Being a part of her pro­cess of relax­ing and get­ting her­self com­fort­able is import­ant to me and leads me to believe that it will become even easier as we con­tinue on.