Her Owner

Saying “Thank You” and “Please” has been a part of my life since I can consciously remember. My parents sent me to etiquette school and proper mannerism has always been a big part of my life. I was raised with the traditional values of a gentleman, complete with all the intricate expectations on how the woman I am with should behave and how the men I meet should act towards their peers. The last 24 hours have reflected a behaviour in the community which I find not only appalling, but also alarming. What I am referring to can  be found in the questions my slave chose to answer over the past 24 hours.

I have a hard time comprehending the psychology behind such vindictive and emotionally abusive words, therefore I am not going to even try and explore the motivation behind them. My slave is an individual which is exceptionally empathetical. This empathy is often expressed through words and it does not matter whether they are spoken to her or written. The end result is the same and i this particular case the end result reads like this.

I strongly believe that it is in our best interest to be a part of the community and to openly interact with the community. I strongly believe that there have to be individuals which can answer questions and I also believe that it serves us best to have them answered by more experienced people. What I am starting to question is whether those individuals has to be us. There is nothing my slave and myself, much less pet, request in return for what we do. I cover the worldly costs by paying for the server which hosts these sites and everyone that is involved donates their time. None of us requests our readers to jump through hoops to be able to interact with us and I do believe that even the most odd questions have been answered with patience and understanding.

Human beings are not capable of being completely altruistic and I am no exception to that rule. My unspoken expectation for everyone that tries to interact with us is that they show manners. Not perfect manners, however at least a basic understanding of what is acceptable and what is not. We have always encouraged anonymous questions, because we understand that it is hard to actually ask when it is easy for others to find out who you are. We understand that it is inconvenient to sign up on a web-site when all you want answered is one single question. The anonymity of this interaction is not designed for you to be cowardice and exhibit behaviour which you would never dare show to the face of a human being you are interacting with. Manners are one of the few things in life which are not contextual, they remain the same no matter where you apply them. You can show proper manners while you are at war, just as much as you can show them when you have been the victim of a natural disaster. We rely on manners to shield us from the raw ugliness that seems to inhabit some of us humans.

When I think about my expectation for the community and those that which to interact with us I do not feel that I am asking too much. What disturbs me most is that behaviour, as shown to my slave, mostly goes unpunished. The online society is far more forgiving and ignoring, rather than addressing, seems to be the predominant solution to all such problems. The cowardice of an unacceptable act and how it reflects on the actor seems to be forgotten. I often remember a few words from Sting’s song titled “Englishman in New York” which are

“…A gentleman will walk but never run…”

He will walk, because running would reflect ill on him. The song then goes on to continue with:

“… If, “Manners maketh man” as someone said
Then he’s the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say…”

I subscribe to this point of view, yet there is only so much smiling and ignoring you can do. When it becomes vindictive and abusive what is being said, then it has to be called out. I have given my slave very clear instructions on how I want her to deal with situations like these from now on. I expect our readers and those that wish to interact with us to exhibit manners. I do not expect anyone to agree with us. I invite everyone to share their opinions and ideas with us, even though they might not be close to ours. I invite everyone to have discussions with us and to interact with us. I expect everyone to do so with poise, manners and a polite demeanour.

Any type of interaction my slave receives, from now on, which does not meet those criteria will be ignored by her and dealt with by me. I am not shy, so when it comes to going through incredibly complicated procedures to find out your IP address and then your identity so I can send you a cease and desist letter, I am more than prepared to do that. I want to stress that this is not a threat and I want those who are willing to interact with us to feel safe, however there is a hidden promise there, that I will no longer quietly accept this kind of behaviour towards my property.

My slave is a very capable individual and she is more than capable of holding her own. I will always back her up  and when her emotional integrity is being affected, I will get involved! The way some individuals haven chosen to interact with her has affected her and my live beyond what is typed on a screen. I will not allow strangers to cause discomfort to the woman I love, nor am I willing to accept that they should have enough power to cause friction in our relationship. That needs to stop and it will from now on. Please interact with us, but mind your manners! If you cannot stop being mean or vindictive, why do you not try asking me question of the kind my slave had to deal with. Find out how I will deal with them.