I tend to enjoy the finer things in life and have probably cultivated an affinity towards those additions to my life over the years. While my cockdoll and myself are not overly social, I still keep track of those events many might consider to be a little snobbish. I do not understand art, but I appreciate beautiful things. Food is dear to my heart and I will drive many kilometres for something that appeals to me. I never enjoyed the simple and loud, I always gravitated towards the sophisticated and complex. In my choice of music, movies and reading that has always been expressed and it seems this tendency applies to my preferences in kink as well.
We recently bought a second car. Having driven both cars for a while now I was reminded how different they both are and how out of the ordinary our second vehicle is. Some of you might remember that we own an Audi RS4. A truly sophisticated piece of machinery, quiet and restraint yet perfectly capable of hurling four individuals down the Autobahn at 200KM/h when requested. Understatement is the one word that comes to mind when describing that vehicle. Attention to detail and a symphony of parts to come together to play a masterpiece of engineering.
Pandora on the other hand embodies American Muscle. Being a heavily modified C6 Corvette with a built engine and many other performance enhancement she sounds more like a tractor when you turn her on and once the RPM counter goes past 3500 the exhaust note reminds you of a wild pack of banshee’s screaming at you while trying to hunt you down. Pandora vibrates, rattles and shakes even when stopped at the lights and rolling down the highway you are very aware of the power contained in that LS2 engine hurling you down the road. There is nothing sophisticated, quiet or understated about this car. Pandora is Velocity Yellow, as bright a colour as you can imagine, and with her modified Body Kit even 80 year old Ladies seem to crane their neck to look at her. Pandora is in your face, raw power to terrorise Porsches, Ferraris and other tuned cars with.
A part of me does not understand why I decide to allow that foreign element of raw power into my life. I am a very controlled individual and I rarely, if ever, act on impulse. One might think that is my strength, however it is also my greatest downfall. THere is little room for blind lust and semi-controlled violence with someone that is as level headed as I am. Something I now and then regret when I read or see exploits of sheer lust. I might shake my head at the risk those individuals took at the behest lust and need, I find it tantalising, nonetheless. There are days when I feel I want to throw caution to the wind and indulge in those activities which common sense should keep you from indulging in, ass to mouth is a perfect example. Yes, there is a good chance that you are transferring bacteria where they should not be, but then again your slave will not die from it and the underlying psychological experience might actually strengthen the relationship. \
I love my slave, not only because she has come so far and transcended that state of just submitting by being my marked cockdoll, but also because she truly wants me happy. I know that I can count on her to indulge me should I ever make the request to do something that bare an inherent risk. Just like she supported me when I had the brilliant idea of buying a Corvette. The aspects of BDSM which are drive through physical expression of control or more violent interactions, such as punching, have never interested me, because I personally discarded them as simple interaction. I might not be a big guy, in terms of height, but I am well trained and the likelihood that a woman would beat me up is fairly small. Especially because I do not fight fair, when I defend myself I will hurt you as badly and as efficiently as I can, thus discarding societal norms of what is acceptable in a fight and what not. I never saw the fun or challenge in physically dominating someone that invites you to do so in the first place. I guess I discarded the interaction as simplistic.
Looking back at my own point of view I begin to realise that I trivialised a form of interaction I simply did not comprehend and even now I still have a hard time fully comprehending. It seems odd that an american muscle car has prompted me to revisit this topic in my hand. There is something utterly intoxicating about raw power and the knowledge that you are in a position to unleash it onto an unsuspecting victim any time you choose. While the submissive is hopefully not ever a victim the element of surprise would remain.
I know that my cockdoll enjoyed the few times when I have physically asserted myself. It seems that she is not only mentally affected but her body reacts to it as well. I will assume that it is a combination of excitement and fear that leads he to experience something she recognises as pleasing to her. Much like I can appreciate the ear shattering roar or Pandora when the throttle gets pushed further to the baseboard than it should have been.
I should be more inclusive of the areas in my kink and life that I might have abandoned for all too trivial reasons. Not everything has to be complicated and not everything has to be complex to be fun. It almost seems that I measure my return on fun based on how much effort I had to put in to get to that fun. A silly concept for a species that obviously thrives of instant gratification. I should learn to have fun for the sake of hanging fun and that is exactly what I am planning to do from now on.