I know that my well being, my career and my emotional safety are something I am taking very seriously, I would think that all comes with the insecurities of a dominant person. My slave is an extension of that security blanket and she is most ingenious when it comes to serving as such for me.

I love my slave and she is the pinnacle of a long search in my life what I expect and want from a relationship, yet now and then she surprises me. She has revealed that she feels that I deserve more than her, that she wants the dolly and herself to be utterly devoted to me. She feels that is something I deserve.

It led me to question whether anyone can deserve two slaves. Can you deserve three, four or ten slaves? I will admit that the thought is thrilling, yet deep in my belly I am still grappling with the logistics of such an arrangement.

My conscious mind with all its logic and deductive powers quite clearly has an idea how to run a household with two slaves, how to ensure that both are happy, how to feed, clothes and progress them as individuals. My subconscious is not as clear on that very topic. How to you share love? Do you share love at all? How do you ration attention and is attention more valuable when you give it to one slave alone or does it count when you give it to both of them at the same time?

My slave, she is my puppet. Held on invisible strings forever attached to me. Our dolly is not drawn on strings and yet I want to manipulate every part of her life, just like you would with a doll. To me there is a distinction. I crave to show our doll that there are many good things in life and we both want to share them with her. These things expand far beyond what one might usually find in a BDSM relationship. Some of the things which I will do with puppet and dolly include but are not limited to:

• Sending dolly to school, we find that she would make an excellent corporate law lawyer.
• Sending dolly to pilates lessons to ensure her body remains flawless and flexible for use.
• Expecting dolly and puppet to learn a second language and in good time a third language. These will most likely be German and French.
  German is my native tongue and French is the second language in Canada.
• Sending dolly to ballet or salsa lessons to improve her posture, gait and presentation.

There are many other areas which I am beginning to take into consideration. What is most important is that I can build a relationship model which allows both my dolly and my puppet to feel safe, loved and cherished. With that security blanket in place it will be up to each one of them to develop a unique form of devotion.

While my puppet is bound to me by her strings and the three years we have shared the dolly does not have those invisible and unbreakable chords binding her to me. For the dolly, my slave and I need to create an environment of worship and utter devotion. The dolly is surely allowed to leave at any time, she needs to have her own friends and experiences, but when the proverbial evening comes, I would expect her need and devotion to draw her home, where she belongs and that is with me and my puppet.

This is the ultimate in control to me. Not only to possess and the guide, but to be in a position where you can positively guide and shape a human beings life. While this is something parents probably do all the time my little arrangement transfers all control to me. IT is quite an exhilarating feeling to even speculate and think about this.

Life has put me into a position where I have the financial means to change another individuals life because it is precious to me and I feel that individual deserves better though my guidance.

With all that said, I am also a human being that is simple a male. I like women, no I love them. I revel in their beauty and I appreciate their uniqueness. Why would I not want to go to bed and wake up with two of creatures of such individual beauty tending to all my wishes and needs? Learning to be a puppeteer is a very hard and arduous journey, now is the time for me to pull the strings, place the limbs of the doll and reap my pleasures. Immerse them in a mantra of their own and create a world of utmost devotion.

• Hello dolly - BDSM 101 #9
• Reaping The Benefits Of My Dominance
• My Slave Is My Toy
• My Doll Is Your Doll - BDSM 101 #10
• In Memoriam

Welcome to the 10th installment of BDSM 101. It has been sometime since I started BDSM 101 together with Don and I am glad to present a double strip for the 10th anniversary. Everything my slave is allowed to call her own is mine.

By proxy I own my slave’s doll and to encourage that fact and to make sure the dolly understands that quite clearly, we meet in this strip. I hope you enjoy it.

• Hello dolly - BDSM 101 #9
• My puppet, My doll - Obey!
• Fun in the Park - BDSM 101 #3
• The Crop Please - BDSM 101 #7
• A Day Of Bondage - BDSM 101 #6

Every story and every strip of BDSM 101 has a grain of truth to it. It is now time to introduce the dolly and hopefully she will be with us for a while. A none fictional character and an adventure that might unfold into the future.

For those of you intersted in the story behind this strip, go an read the in-depth account over at my slave’s blog, where she talks about making new friends and finding her dolly.

Personally I am very excited about the prospect of adding a doll to an already wonderful relationship with my slave. She would be a pleasing addition to be played with, marked and used however I saw fit, while keeping my slave happy and busy as well.

Maybe in the future, when dolly has decided to submit even further, I shall reveal my most devious plans in detail.

• My Doll Is Your Doll - BDSM 101 #10
• My puppet, My doll - Obey!
• Fun in the Park - BDSM 101 #3
• A Day Of Bondage - BDSM 101 #6
• A Different Kind of Puppy Kennel - BDSM 101 #5

Apart from his artwork he also released ideas on how to dress and customise the apparel worn by a puppygirl. This he published in drawings which are annotated and I believe there are three areas which he covers very well.

The Muzzle

Ensuring that your puppygirl is secured behind a muzzle does not only remove her human features but can change her ability to communicate. A properly trained puppygirl should communicate through sounds and behaviours which you would normally expect from a dog. What I like in particular about this design is the integrated ring-gag. Not only does it ensure that she pants and does not speak too well, it also opens her mouth for penetration and use. Extending her nose into a more dog like snout also makes this a well thought out muzzle. Personally I would have wanted some ears to go with it, but they are somthing that can easily added on their own.

The Posture

Having your puppygirl on all fours leashed and muzzled is one step forward. A puppy suit can add the right texture and fur like appeal. I am more interested in a stricter way to expose the puppygirl and the pad system you can see in this picture is quite sophisticated. Even though there are various layers of protection built into the system it seems apparent that you could not keep the puppygirl in the shown position for a very long time. Inflammation of the biceps tendon at the elbow is only one of the possible complications you might have to deal with. I would argue though that is should be absolutely safe to keep the puppies extremities in that postion for up to two hours in the beginning. What is very thoughtful about this setup is the fact that the criss-crossed strap will actually relax the muscles and keep the arms and legs naturally in the position they have been forced into.

The Tail

A puppy without a tail is a day puppygirl indeed. I would think there are two schools to this. Either make the tail a part of the suit or another form of attachment to keep the asscunt open for use or use a toy such as the one to the left. I will admit that I am in love with the concept of that toy. Not only doe sit offer the swelling feeling of a knot as the ass is being plugged by the toy, it also allows for variable play due to its inflatable nature. The built in metal weight should also help to steady the base of the tail against movement, making it fairly rigid, which would help the puppygirl if she was to wag her tail. The motion itself would translate much better and put the tail-part in motion. If created with a modular setup in mind, this toy could be split into the base plug and then tails in different sizes with different styles could be attached after the base plug has been inserted.

The Challenge

These toys do not exist, they are concepts by a very talented artist. I would be willing to pay quite a lot of money to have these concepts created for me and my slave. Not necessarily to use them on her or anybody else, but for their uniqueness. In a world of mass-production and quick consumerism there is little thought left to pieces which are truly one-of-a-kind. I think I should explorer my chances with some students and hear about their ideas. Do you have toy ideas? Can you create these toys? Let me know, please comment!

• Silence - Five Gags to Silence Your Slave
• Milk Your Puppy, Master - BDSM 101 #8
• Five Butt Plugs Extraordinaire…
• How To Train Your Slave
• To Be A Good Master - Be Creative

This Week’s Picks

Art of the Cunt

“The point of the abstraction was so that they, although anatomically correct, are hidden enough in colouring and some of the external shapes to hide the image for what it is.”

Come Get Your Knife

“”Do you trust me?” I asked.”

Tangle of Limbs There is Softness

“But I know myself, I know my desire.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice

Sugarbutch Star: Eileen

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Sex Advice

How to Talk Dirty

BDSM & Fetish

Bang The Bum Harder

Fucking and Flogging

How To Train Your Slave

Ins and (Mostly) Outs of Public Displays of Kink

Like a $20 Whore

She disappears

Submission

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Cliched Sex

Coming into Queerness - Toybox

Fetish Fair Fleamarket and Ellie Lumpesse - What a Weekend!

Heavy Metal

I Think We’re Alone Now

I’m imagining you

Monday Mirage (It’s back!!!)

Nothing Beats a Free Massage

There’s a First TIme For Everything. Confession #146

Trading my ass p2

• Fun in the Park - BDSM 101 #3
• Registration Opened And BDSM Is A Life-style
• Masters, slaves - I Challenge You To an Interview
• Five Butt Plugs Extraordinaire…
• Half Way There - Naming The BDSM Comic

I am currently experimenting with the direction I want to take this web-site in and while I think it has to retain its core values, it does cost money to run it and create content for it. So let me find a fun way to get some of that money back. Therefore I have started playing with Zazzle.

With Zazzle you can create an customise products and then sell them to customers while making a small cut of the profits. I am currently in the process of habing some professional designs done, but until that time I created my own. Here is it:

You can customise that shirt in colour and size and have all manners of fun with it over at the Zazzle Store

The Challenge

The challenge is very easy:

• Go to to the shop and buy a T-shirt
• Wear the T-shirt in a public place
• Take a picture of you wearing it
• Send the picture to me, you may anonymise your face
• Win the contest and I will refund you the cost of buying the shirt

This will happen on a first come, first served basis and of course the winner will be posted on this web-site..Your ideas for apparel, unique BDSM related designs are welcome here! Send them to me. I will happily feature some on this web-site and maybe we can even add them to the new shop.

The challenge is on and I predict that I will not be short of any money soon, so come on and prove me wrong before the contest ends this month.

• BDSM 101 - Check Me Out In Colour
• I want your cash! - No Really…
• Sexy Free Email For The BDSM Inclined
• Bondage, slaves, Masters - What Content Do You Want?
• Custom Puppygirl Gear

I am usually disappointed at what those people perceive as BDSM and how that keyword has become overused by the Porn industry. When I type BDSM I do not need to know about kink.com or any other pay for view web-site. I just want to be informed.

When all you can do is complain you need to do something about it. Therefore I have created BDSM For All which is nothing more than a content aggregator. So far I have added feeds for my own site, the web-site of my slave and a couple of other sites. There are also feeds from Google News and Tahoo News for the keyword BDSM.

Help Me Out!

I want to aggregate more content. I am relying on your input to do so. If you know of a web-site or a BDSM related RSS/ATOM Feed, then please let me know. I will have a look and if I think that it fits the spirit of the site, then I will add it to the list. That can be a news source, a magazin, your own blog or the blog of a friend. As long as it has a very clear topic shaped around BDSM the content will be welcome.

In short, what are you waiting for? head over there and check it out and tell me what I am missing.

• Bondage, slaves, Masters - What Content Do You Want?
• The T-Shirt Challenge - Slaves Only!
• I want your cash! - No Really…
• We proudly present - BDSM 101 #1
• Ask The Master And Slave And Be Anonymous Doing It!

How We Train

I believe that we should take a step back to understand what I see as training, as it has the concept of learning at its very core. Learning comes in many form and if you believe recent studies there is an emerging trend towards Inquiry-based Learning. I find that the idea it is based on can be best understood by looking at this old saying:

“Tell me and I forget, show me and I remember, involve me and I understand.”

The concept of Inquiry-based learning satisfies a requirement for me which is essential to me. In order for my slave to learn and to be trained to become what I want her to be I need to involve her in the whole process. She needs to understand what it is that I expect and not simply be directed to go through a step based process without knowing the goal or having a direction.

Learning Experiences

Not only can we address the learning process in a sensible manner, depending on what you want to achieve you might have to adjust the way you are teaching. Your brain has two major areas which are responsible for learning experiences:

The Neocortex

Your Neocortex grasps concepts and logic. This part of the brain helps you figure out how to use a computer or how to apply the knowledge from a book you read to your next sales call.

The limbic system

Your limbic system governs feelings, impulses and drives.

While your Neocortex learn by absorbing and analysing information, because it is able to apply abstract concepts to any given situation your limbic system learns best through motivation, extended practice and feedback.

Adjust Your Training

You need to carefully adjust the way you train your slave depending on what you wish to do. If she is to understand and perform a Japanese tea ceremony perfectly the neocortex approach is an absolutely valid on, couple with practice. If you expect your slave to feel happy and get excited every-time she hears your voice you will need to define a clever way of working with her limbic system. Motivate her, practice with her by being around and listen to her feedback.

Whatever you teach your slave you can execute as learning experience. A small table recently published in the special HBS centennial Issue on page 63 reads as follows: (I have changed some words to reflect the M/s context)

Execution As Learning

Masters (Leaders) set direction and articulate the mission.

Slaves (Employees) [usually in teams] discover answers.

Tentative processes are set up as a starting point.

Work processes keep developing; small changes - experiments and improvements - are a way of life.

Feedback is always two-way: The Master (boss) gives feedback in the form of coaching and advise; slave (team members) give feedback about what they are learning from doing the (ever-changing) work.

Problem solving is constantly needed, so valuable information is provided to guide slaves’ (employees’) judgement.

Fear cripples the learning process: It inhibits experimentation, lowers awareness of options, and discourages people from sharing and analysing insights, questions, and problems.

Precisely and quite to the point this table describes what you can and cannot do while you are in the process of training your slave. I would like to stress what has been said in the last table item. You cannot train your slave, expecting her to improve herself and at the same time you punish her for mistakes or minor set-backs. It is imperative for her to find the best way of training herself to be better for you. It is impossible for you to know what works best for every given situation you need to be able to rely in your slave for feedback. That feedback will only be open and honest when your slave knows that she will not be hurt or punished over it.

As mentioned above this is a two edged sword, your feedback is equally important, especially for areas which are very emotional or require your slave to learn a new skill which changes the way her body reacts or feels. This all plays into the fact that her limbic system is hard at work, long after her neocortex has understood what you are trying to do.

It is your duty, as her owner, to create an environment of psychological safety as well as accountability for meeting demanding goals. Your slave wants to achieve and excel, she wants to be found pleasing and that plays in your favour. Setting demanding goals is not going to frustrate her, the opposite is the case. It is then up to you to create and environment where psychological safety allows her to experiment and determine an optimal way of achieving the goals you have set.

Bringing It Together

While this all seems very theoretical there are four easy steps I feel many can apply to this concept of training and learning.

1. Explain what you want to do and how. Establish an understanding of what the process will be to try and achieve your mutual goals.
2. Provide her with the necessary tools and make it clear that she is to collaborate with other slaves on this goal.
3. Gather her feedback, collect as much data on her progress as you can and share it.
4. Insist on disciplined reflection, institutionalise it. Try to teach her about “Hansei“

Armed with this additional knowledge it should be much easier for you to devise a better way of training and learning for your slave. Please remember that this is not a simple case of you dictating and your slave doing, this is an integrated process and you will need your slaves input if you wish to be successful.

• Custom Puppygirl Gear
• Control Your Slave - Be A Cat
• Asscunt 101 - A quick (bdsm) anatomy lesson.
• Making Someone Your Slave
• Master’s Fault Not The Slaves

While that is not a very valuable domain to anyone else but me, I feel that it is time to share some of its use. I think it is perfectly suited for the BDSM community, especially when it comes to sending email about. Google is offering a free service which enables people like myself to offer others to benefit from my domain name. You get the same service that you get fro Gmail but you can use the domain useme.net with it.

I think that is rather nice. For now I would like to give out 100 user accounts. You will be served on a first come first get basis. What I need from you is your First and Last Name (yes you can fake those, it is simply a required field) and the username that you would like to have.

Simply send an email to “signup AT useme DOT net” looking somewhat like this:

Hi, I would like:
First Name: Thiso
Last Name: Duggo
Username: spankme

This would give you the email address spankme@useme.net. The only names already reserved are:

• owner
• Master
• slave

Once everything is setup I will send you an email and you should be able to access your email  account at get.useme.net.

The interface will be the one that you are used to from Gmail. You can have your account forward all the mail you receive to any other provider you use or simply read it there.
The same Google Mail features will work on this account as on any other.

I hope that you will enjoy this service and not abuse it, as all of the Google acceptable terms for use apply and spammers are not welcome. I hope the community likes the domain as much as I do and makes good use of this offer.

• Masters, slaves - I Challenge You To an Interview
• Custom Puppygirl Gear
• BDSM News For All
• Ask The Master And Slave And Be Anonymous Doing It!
• Registration Opened And BDSM Is A Life-style

For your viewing pleasure I am introducing BDSM 101 #8 and this time we spend some time grooming and milking the puppy. Induced lactation can be an incredible way to control and further traing your slave. You should of course seek medical advise before you even consider playing and ensure the medical health of your slave before you indulge in this type of play.

• We proudly present - BDSM 101 #1
• Hurt Your Slave - Hurt Her Good
• Making Someone Your Slave
• To Be A Good Master - Be Creative
• Relinquishing My Leniency

I do not feel like I am doing enough. I think it is imperative that users can contribute to the content they expect to see on a web-site like this. I am not content to make this just another blog or a personal account of what I do in the scene. This was never designed to be yet another window for voyeurs to peek through. This was always meant to be a web-site which listens to the reader and then aims to create content based on that.

What do you want? What puzzles you? Are you going to love interviews? Do you want more pictures? Doyou want pod-casts with other people in the scene? Shoudl I encourage others to write for this site, building a little base of BDSM enabled journalists? I want your input, because I want this web-site to grow and to become a known “brand” on the internet. That is something I cannot do on my own, it only works if I can count on the help of my regular readers. Spread the word, ask your friends what they want. Ask those who are not into the scene but curious about kink what they would like to know. How can I help to make this world of BDSM seem less scary to all of those people out there just itching to have a little wiff of Domination and submission.

Do you want to write for me and for this blog, by my guest, leave me a message and I will be getting back to you. Do you have suggestions on how we can improve the content or the presentation, then leave a comment. This might not be a web-site which is built around meeting individuals like fetlite or alt.com, but I am sure it can become something close to a BDSM newspaper, a central hub for topics that concern us all in the BDSM scene.

I will try to push on with my ambitions, I welcome you to join me so that we can together grow this web-site and this content into a true joy to serve the community.

• BDSM News For All
• Masters, slaves - I Challenge You To an Interview
• Registration Opened And BDSM Is A Life-style
• We proudly present - BDSM 101 #1
• Tasty BDSM Sugasm